FireProof Week 3

Focus this week: Love for a Lifetime (Matthew 19:5-6)

The study had us focus on whether or not you truly understood your marriage vows and the covenant that you made with your spouse and God on that special day. I remember that Dr. Carswell said that those that were a witness to our wedding were at the birth of a new family, family that until that moment had not existed before. That's hard to wrap your head around to think about. We have a chance to start a new family that taken what we have been given and have learned from our own individual families and combined with our own ideas and direction from God create a family, just the two of us. After only being married for four months, the wedding day is still very real. I still remember my vows and the focus that I had. I really took those vows serious and wanted to make sure that Kevin knew that. However, I know that as time will go on that certain vows may be more of a challenge to uphold. The study focused on a few and explained them.

1. To have and to hold (how well you bonded and "held" to your spouse)
2. For better or worse (how stable is your treatment of your spouse, regardless of circumstances?)
3. For richer or poorer (how well does your marriage stand up to financial pressures?)
4. In sickness and in health (is your marriage affected by health struggles?)
5. To love and to cherish (refer to your accomplishment of the principles in Ephesians 5)
6. I pledge my faithfulness (are you faithful to your spouse, not just meaning looking at someone else or flirting, but being honest and loyal in all situations.)

I know that for us, during the first four months, I guess we feel like we have accomplished number 1. Having been apart for the whole 4 years that we dated, we have spent more time together than ever. Also, having just been married, which I am sure most can relate, number 2 for richer or poorer, mainly means for poor or poorer. Even when you come into an extra surprise of money, there's never enough. I had always had money living at home after college, but now with Kevin and the few bills we do have, we are going from pay check to pay check. But God is good and He does supply our needs. Number 4 is the one that I feel Kevin and have had a real hold onto. I have personally had many illnesses and times when I have been sick and between our two families we have dealt with that too. Just two weeks after we married, Kevin's grandfather passed away. Three weeks ago, I got bite by a spider, which got infected. So I went on an antibiotic and then 10 days after that had an allergic reaction and broke out in hives. Oh and in between my spider bite and hives, Kevin sets a hay field on fire. So the past 3 weeks have been busy for us, and to add school on top of that with the end of the first nine weeks here. It's never a boring moment down here in the country. So, I guess we have dealt with some stuff, but you just laugh at it and move on. But the vows we made on June 21, 2008 were something that you don't just say once, but it's a daily things that you have made a commitment to do. Loving your spouse, in all aspects of that word. It's not just the loving feelings, true love, like we talked about in week 1 comes from really understanding your spouse and seeing them through God's eyes. I guess the one vow that will be a daily struggle for me, is to keep my treatment of Kevin the same in all situations. It's really easy for me to get stressed out and to snap at him for no reason at all. I always feel horrible after the fact and am quick to apologize, but I have tried and need to try harder to treat him with the same love and kindness and tenderness that I would want from him in all situations. But that's a daily thing that I try to work on.

Something to think about: What is one vow that you made on your wedding day that maybe you have been struggling with to keep lately? What could you do to improve it and show it to your spouse?