God's Power for your Marriage

Our pastor is doing a marriage series. Here's the notes from part 1:

*Ephesians 1:19-20 "And his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms...."

Yeah, I know what you are thinking, what in the world does that verse have to do with love and marriage. I thought the same thing at first. This verse demonstrates God's awesome power and His ability to do anything. One key point was that "God did not give you your spouse to make you happy, but to teach you how to love." Marriage is suppose to be a glimpse for us of how God loves the church and for how He loves us. Everything about God is love-it defines Him and who He is. He had the power to resurrect Christ, He can give us that same power through the Holy Spirit to help us in our marriage. Wow! I don't know of any one else that has that kind of power and love for us. All relationships have three stress points: (1) unexpected differences (2) unmet needs and (3) unforgiven sin. God gives us the power to overcome all these.

1.) God gives us the power to fathom your spouse's differences.
-fathom- understanding the depths (1 Cor.2:11)

-maturity means that you understand your differences.
-1 Peter 3:7 " you husbands should TRY to understand the wife you live with. Yes, it does say try, because face it ladies, he doesn't understand us, and won't understand us unless we stop assuming he does and tell him and help him.
-when man says something it reflects what he thinks, when a woman says something it reflects how she feels. (so true!)
-Proverbs 24:3, James 1:5
Now what will help you understand your spouse better, besides them telling you things, the Bible. The more you understand the Bible the more you will understand your spouse. Huh? Yep! The more time you spend in God's word, the more you will learn how to treat your spouse and how to please your spouse.

2.) God will give you the power to fulfill your spouse's needs
-1 Cor. 7:3, Phill. 2:4, Phill. 2:13

-you should understand and study your mate. Remember when you first started dating, you wanted to know everything there was about your date. You would ask their friends, or ask your friends to ask their friends what they like, what they said, etc. You were like a sponge, you would soak up any information that someone would give you. You need to have that same "zeal" and excitement to still find out more about your spouse.

-The reason you stop: that takes effort and we become selfish. We want our needs meet first. It reminds me of the "Love Dare" from the movie Fire Proof: you do it without wanting anything in return whether they say thank you or not. Your focus needs to be what you can do for them, not what they can do for you. God will give you the power and energy when you don't think you can.

Something to remember about marriage:
1. you married an imperfect person.
2. you are an imperfect person.

3.) God will give you the power to forgive your spouse's mistakes.
Proverbs 21:19, Eph. 4:31, Col. 3:13

-When your spouse makes a mistake you can rub it or rub it out. You can save it for later when you get into arguments and throw it out their to dug a little deeper of a wedge between you, or you can throw it in the trash, never to be pulled out again. If you can't forgive your spouse, then you will never be pleased by them, because you will hang onto that sin that will just feed the fire that will eventually start burning down your marriage. Before you can even begin to understand your spouse and their needs, you have to forgive their mistakes. Also, if you don't forgive your spouse's mistakes, then how can you expect them to forgive yours?

Some numbers from Marriage and Divorce Magazine:

1 out of 3 marriages will end in divorce (not married in a church and non-Christians)

1 out of 50 marriages will end in divorce (if married in a church and both are Christians)

1 out of 1, 150 marriages will end in divorce (if married in a church, attend church regularly, have God as the center of their marriage where both spouses are Christians with a relationship with Christ.)

Major difference when you look at the deciding factors.