Marriage Series Part 2:
*Philippians 2:2 "Then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose."
*Ephesians 4:3 "Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace."
The problem with most marriages are that one day people wake up and realize that their marriage wasn't what they thought marriage was going to be. You have put all your energy and focus into the thought that this other person was suppose to make you happy and fulfill all your dreams and fantasies. That isn't a realistic approach to marriage, but I think we are all guilty of that, but only Christ can fulfill all your needs and dreams, wants, and desires. Here are 6 keys to a satisfying marriage:
1.) COMMUNICATION-reliable communication permits progress, good communication per motes active listening. (Prov. 13:17)
A study was done that we spend about 30 minutes a week talking with our spouse and about 47 hours a week in front of the TV. Communication has to be practiced. It has been proven that women get their linguistic skills a lot earlier than men, and that men speak about 20,000 words a day and women speak about 30,000 words a day. But we have got to turn that TV, video game, ipod, etc. off and talk. Come home from work, we are all tired, but cook dinner together, and then eat not in front of the TV and there is about an hour or so you can spend talking and catching up with each other.
2.) CONSIDERATION-show your love by being helpful to each other (Eph. 4:2b, James 3:7)
Why would you spite your own life and not be considerate to the one that makes your life better? Try to find ways to lighten the load for your spouse. When you wife comes in from the grocery store, without being asked, go help unload the car and help put up the groceries. Instead of being asked, start a load of laundry, help fold the clothes and put them away. Ladies, when you husband comes home from a hard day at work, don't start nagging right a way, ask about his day first.
3.)COMPROMISE-love does not demand its own way (1 Cor.13:5)
Don't try to "remake" your spouse. They are who they are. They are the same as they were before you married them, and they are not going to change. Some people say that after time "they are different or they have changed, they are not the same person that I married". Yes, yes they are, you just thought you could change them or thought they would change and when you realized they didn't or you couldn't make them, you are confused. There will always be conflict, some issues that you will never agree on, and you will need to compromise. Mature love is compromise-you can either win the argument or save your relationship. It's a maturity issue not a competition. So, GROW UP! If you decided you were adult enough to marry, then you are adult enough to deal with the bumps in the road that life will throw at you.
4.)COURTSHIP-let (your spouse's) affection fill you at all times with delight (Prov.5:19b)
You remember how you felt the first time your spouse called you and asked you out on a date. You were so excited and had a count down going. For a week you planned what to wear and what to say. What ever you did to win your spouse, don't quit, keep the "woe" going. Plan little surprises every now and then for your spouse. It doesn't have to be any major expense. Leave a note on their steering wheel, get up early to fix breakfast, be creative, you should know what your spouse likes. If not, then ASK! "Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love. Ecc. 9:9a".
5.)COMMITMENT- "I hate divorce" says the Lord...Make sure you do not break your promise to be faithful to your spouse." Mal.2:16
You need to depend on each other. You need to cut the ties of always running to family and friends first, turn to each other. Commitment-be unhappy for awhile until you can mend it. (it-meaning the problem). If you are using the word "divorce" or threatening your spouse that you will leave just to get them to see your point of view or to get your way; you are digging a hole in your marriage that will create space between you and your spouse and is very dangerous to be playing with. There isn't any problem or issue that can't be worked out or resolved if BOTH parties want to work at it.
6.)CHRIST- gives you the desire and power to make the other 5 work. "Your attitude towards each other should be the same as that of Jesus Christ-Phill.2:5"
Real faith, and a Christ-centered relationship does make a difference. If you don't have Christ in the center of your life and your marriage, it won't work. You have got to spend time in the Word with Christ, and go to church and surround yourself with Christians, and do all of this together.
A good marriage doesn't just happen, but they are not a fairy tale either. They do exist, but it takes lots of work and its a daily sacrifice for selfish desires and to put the one your love above yourself.
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